Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
