i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
