some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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