Joe is yelling at the trees again.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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