So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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