Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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