well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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