girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
