so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
sarcasm needs its own font
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
