she woke up with a sticky ear
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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