Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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