I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
