Have you finally orgasmed yet?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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