my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
