are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
