don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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