bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
we're so committed to being not committed
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
