i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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