My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
