I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
