wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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