He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
