Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
