dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
