totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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