so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
