ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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