I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
