There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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