There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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