she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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