just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
