i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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