I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
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