So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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