what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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