i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize