She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
