Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
