Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
