We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
