what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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