You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I touched a dick in church today
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
