Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
