she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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