why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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