you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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