What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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