i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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