Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize