I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
