Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
