this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When did angry sex become our thing?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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