He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
