I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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