My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
