I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
