i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
