Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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