I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
